ANOTHER VIEW OF DOMESTIC DISCIPLINE
This is another view of domestic discipline from a female dominant position . Generally , we stay away from religious ( or fundamentalist , for that matter ) organisations that advocate spanking . In this case the discipline is both adult and consensual . This is a lifestyle which may well appeal to some and does have checks and balances built into it . The following originally appeared in 2003 and the identity of the organisation has been disguised .
XXX ,
I am new to your list. I joined to find out more about it. I am the ( DELETED ) editor…Needless to say, I was surprised to find your mailing list…I do not understand the need for humiliation at the hands of one’s wife, but I want to be respectful of those for whom it fills an emotional or psychological need. As you have mentioned, you do not subscribe to the extremes that many on your list practice, but can you explain to me the benefit (other than a heightened sense of sexual satisfaction) of being physically humiliated? I must confess that I really am at a loss as to how to explain your mailing list to other ( DELETED ) who would tend to find the practice of spanking or strapping to be emotionally or psychologically unhealthy.
YYY
YYY :
Thank you for your interest. As we have mentioned and as you are aware, our interests are on the fringes of the ( DELETED ) community. By that I mean that we are few in number among ( DELETED ) but we certainly exist. I believe more of us exist than are willing to express the interest. Our ( DELETED ) culture appears to suppress our interest.
Few understand our need, including competent psychological counsellors and therapists. Few have the attention span or desire to learn about us or what this need really is. More common is a feeble effort to simply and rapidly label us a certain way and put us in a small compartment or category. The majority most often denigrates us. They may feel our experience is unreal, impure, and unholy. For this reason we felt that creating a support group might help us understand ourselves and our interaction with the community most important to us outside of our homes.
I understand that you are just investigating right now and intend to determine whether ( DELETED ) has an interest in our topic. I have read ( DELETED ) from time to time and found your magazine to be informative, probing and thought provoking. ( DELETED ) may consider whether our interest is widespread enough to merit magazine coverage, or whether the topic can capture interest and debate among readers.
I suggest that when this topic arises, a significant portion of the population expresses interest either because of latent or hidden feelings they hold, or knowledge of persons close to them with interest in the topic. Since I have not closely followed ( DELETED ), I am not aware whether this topic has arisen in the magazine. I firmly believe that a serious discussion of this subject would be relevant, timely, and helpful.
A discussion should include official Church position. My information is that Church leadership takes no position on intimate marital activity as long as the activity remains within the law of chastity, is consensual, and refrains from abuse. While our activities could become abusive, as could almost any family activity, they can also be kept well within bounds the Lord has set. A husband who yearns for paddling and strapping and gets them receives fulfillment, not abuse.
The leadership of our online forum welcomes a serious discussion of the topic. We approve the mention of our group and its uniform resource locator (URL) in ( DELETED ). We ask that you point out that while we established the group for ( DELETED ), we have welcomed participation from everyone interested. Most discussion and comment is from persons outside of our faith, and perhaps outside of our value system. Yet, we feel a place on the web to discuss our feelings is important. Unfortunately, most group discussion centres on activities and needs instead of interaction about integrating with culture, dealing with the need we have and carving the path we can responsibly trek.
Benefits of physical humiliation
Initial interest in adult corporal discipline may begin as an adjunct to an intimate relationship. A couple may discuss the topic at intimate times. Discussion during intimate interludes comes because of the sensitivity of the topic and the emotional and physical vulnerability of a man needing the discipline. A woman who wants to administer discipline may also feel awkward with her need to paddle and feel discussion leading to paddling comes easier during soft, intimate moments. During these moments, she may establish commitment from her partner more quickly and more easily than at any other time.
Couples involved testify that a dominance and submission relationship goes far beyond sexual intimacy, although continued increased sexual intimacy is an ongoing benefit. Subsequent to an initial paddling that may begin near a sexual experience, paddling and strapping is about the relationship much more than about sexual diversion.
Both men and women enjoy important benefits from a domestic discipline relationship in which the woman is dominant and administers corporal punishment to her partner. Normally, this is clearly discipline and is entirely uncomfortable and displeasureable to her husband. The husband becomes vulnerable and submits to his wife’s authority and discipline. Since his wife is now clearly in charge, and since he must now submit to her and accept discipline, and since she can discipline as she pleases, a man experiences humiliation in addition to the physical discomfort he will feel on his back side during and after the discipline.
Benefits for Women
Women can use this opportunity to vent some of their frustrations in a positive way. Once a woman persuades her man to accept regular discipline (or he may persuade her to provide it), she can paddle and strap for many varied reasons. She may need to clear the air on a subject, or she may want to just take a regular opportunity to remind her husband of their respective places in the relationship. Either way, she establishes a dynamic in the relationship that benefits her. She clearly gets her husband’s attention and helps him focus on her needs. She establishes that her husband will heed her needs and wants and keep their relationship in mind. This kind of a dynamic requires sharp, consistent, and regular reminders in the form of paddling and strapping the man’s back side.
Also, a woman may enjoy the opportunity to take the lead in the relationship. Providing domestic discipline is often the key to that role. She may want certain control over her husband, she may enjoy her status, she may want obedience or respect, she may want a servant, or she may just enjoy this aspect of the relationship. She may even feel she wants more respect and obedience from her husband when they are among friends, family or associates or in public.
A lot of women want to control, and accomplish their goal through manipulation, guilt trips, artificial charm and politicking. These methods invariably cause resentment, dissent, distrust and disharmony. Proactive discipline provides a direct route to the control they seek, and builds trust and honesty instead of all the negative baggage.
Often, women who seek control hope they will get all they want with no activity on their part. Providing sound discipline, on the other hand, is easy, simple, and effective. Men respond well to corporal punishment and respect women who are direct. If a woman wants control, paddling and/or strapping is the least she can do.
Important notes
We neither advocate nor approve of damaging or injuring a spouse in any way. Hence, punishment must be centred on the male buttocks. We reject any puncturing, permanent marking or defacing of the body, or injury of any kind or manner.
We encourage the use of broad paddles and broad, leather straps or belts but strongly discourage canes, whips or anything that may cut or injure. A woman must commit to safe paddling on the fatty tissue of the rump, apparently prepared especially for paddling. Although marks, discolouring, bruises, ridges or welts can and should result on the male buttocks, we do not consider this abuse. A woman must limit her disciplinary action, however, to the buttocks region because no other part of the body is suited to discipline. Other body areas protect sensitive organs, lack the fatty protection of the buttocks and are inappropriate for discipline of any kind. A woman should paddle and strap her husband with control and determination, but never in anger or in a fit of rage.
Benefits for the couple
Decades and centuries of experience show that women take relationships more seriously than men. Women consider the importance and needs of a family and marriage before themselves. Women concentrate on keeping the family moving and in the right direction. Women avoid brutality. Unfortunately, men often consider their own needs and wants before the needs of marriage and family. Men often want to play while women work. Obviously these are generalities, but think of how often these generalities are true.
Men need more direction and focus in their lives than they can muster from within themselves. A good, sound paddling helps a man focus on what is important and dismiss extraneous diversions. Paddling and strapping help humble a man and help dismiss some of his macho pride. Discipline helps men concentrate on their wives, fidelity and loyalty. With discipline, men can focus on the values important to family and community—the same values that prophets and the Saviour have taught for centuries. A woman with the courage and determination to consistently, regularly and seriously paddle her husband contributes to keeping these values alive and healthy.
In addition, domestic discipline in a relationship from woman to man helps the couple communicate and stay close. Discipline fosters sensitivity and respect. When challenges arise, discipline helps initiate careful thought. Discipline before, during and/or after discussion fosters listening and understanding. Because discipline requires trust, vulnerability and submissiveness, discipline builds closeness, trust and intimacy in marriage. Many marriages fail to ever realize a union this close, this trusting and this intimate. Paddling and strapping her man, a woman builds a strong bond in the relationship and especially a strong bond from him.
Benefits for the male
Males’ deepest values are also marital and family unity, peace and safety in the community, and honouring spouses. Unfortunately, a lot of confusion crops up and gets in a male’s path of pursuing noble goals. Males often get stuck in ruts and need real help. Adequate, appropriate, consistent, and real discipline helps men focus on meaningful goals and respecting and honouring their wives. Men want and need to progress, and discipline is the key. Discipline can help men forego some of their natural egotism. The Lord commanded men to cleave only to their wives, to honour, cherish and protect their spouses. Sound paddling from a woman makes this endeavour reachable and helps men stay on track.
Also, many males have deep-seated needs to submit to their spouses. A male needs an authority figure in his life, and someone to obey. Discipline allows the man to cherish his wife as he really wants to cherish her and makes him submit even when short-term or selfish goals cloud the way.
Often, the results of a paddling last several days to a couple of weeks or longer. During this time, a man has a continual reminder of his spouse and her love. When a man moves, sits, showers, or gets slaps on the buttocks, he remembers his wife and her discipline. A paddling provides prolonged, intimate contact from his wife with a continual reminder of his intimacy and behaviour for many days afterward. A man who wants to give his mate elevated or superiority status can by submitting to paddlings and discipline, and by committing to obey her.
A man may feel that to give his mate complete love, he needs to submit to her and accept her giving him something that is not pleasant or tasteful. With a paddling, a man accepts her will, her desires and whatever she wants to dish out. Many men want to be submissive and helpful, but cannot without having their wives paddle, humble and discipline them often and adequately. Man may need freedom from being in charge and/or have a need to humbly submit. This man will gratefully accept a woman’s discipline.
Because men are quite weak and naturally yearn for control, dominance and discipline from a woman, they may be susceptible to accepting this dominance outside their homes. Provide discipline at home and a wandering husband is quite unlikely. Failing to discipline a husband may lead to every sort of trouble. While this trouble is no fault of a wife, she can take decisive action to keep her husband on the right track and progressing positively.
The scriptures are replete with examples of and recommendations for discipline, punishment and correction—far too numerous for this abbreviated introduction. We also see prophets consistently admonish kings and peoples to be humble and obey the Lord. We watch kings take counsel from prophets, and we see David always submit to Saul. The Saviour admonished, "the meek shall inherit the earth," and "blessed are the peace makers." The Saviour submitted to all things His Father asked of Him, and submitted to men on earth. In the New Testament, Peter and Paul regularly submitted to authorities and discipline.
The Church admonishes men to lead and protect their families in love and peace. The Lord, through His Church, has provided this important counsel:
Let us have men who lead our families, therefore, only by persuasion, long-suffering, gentleness, meekness, kindness, pure knowledge and love unfeigned. Let us do whatever we need to do to give-up the things of this world, the honours of men, our pride, our vain ambition, and lead our families on the principles of righteousness. Men may need a lot of attitude adjustment to reach this admonition, and adequate paddling can help.
FEMALE TO MALE SPANKING ( MEMBERS )
FEMDOM ( MEMBERS )
