DINING WITH THE PRINCESS
Having accepted the dinner invitation I arrived at her address , parking between the pink pimpmobile and the Ford on concrete blocks outside the Castle , the moat was missing , but there was a storm water drain at the right side . As I parked my rented yank tank I contacted the pimpmobile but the noise was masked by the sounds of the police chase in the next street . A delightful young man offered to look after my car for $ 5 , I pointed to the also rented Doberman on the back seat . He enquired if the dog could put out fires , I paid the $ 5 .
Her suite was on the top floor , rear . It is furnished in an unique style , as befits a suburban Princess . I was struck by her taste in Taiwanese prints and motel ashtrays . But I digress , she was a sight to behold , dressed in her retro outfit . She appeared to be odd eyed but this turned to be the result of rushing to put her contact lenses in . The evening was to reveal that these were not the only spare parts present ( most of which reside upon the table at the side of her bed when not in use ) .
The ambience was electrifying with the police sirens and the ongoing " domestics " within the other Palaces in the building . The ABBA music was intoxicating .
She is a superb cook and knows what all of the controls on the microwave oven do .
We discussed many things over dinner , how Russell Crowe was going to win an Academy Award , her knowledge about Australia ( gained from a one night stand with an NBC cameraman who had been in Sydney for the Olympics ) , her being driven to dive across my knee ( the tension only being punctuated by the noise of the sirens ) and her plans to upgrade to a P II processor ( finances permitting ) .
Well one thing led to another and we retired to the boudoir . This posting must end here as I am a gentleman , but there are some general observations and questions : why do women buy stuffed animals , fake jewelry and synthetic animal skins ? Why are there notches on the bed head ? How did she learn to be so discrete when she is going to be sick ? Lastly , who makes " PRINCESS " cosmetics ?
Ratings : spanking - lightweight , other - probably ok when sober , Gladiator - to win .
P.S. The $5 was well spent , only the hubcaps were missing - told the rental company that they fell off driving through the potholes on the way back .
